So much to say, so little i can actually talk about

Okay, I know, Secrets = Bad. I am so very glad i am not keeping anything from Scott, he knows more about me then even i know i think, there is so much i want to stop hiding from people. A lot of people already know about a lot of it but there are some Key people who don't, people i wish did know so i didn't have to hide anymore, i hate hiding who i am more then anything.

Sometimes secrets protect those you love ... so i hear this and i guess they were right. Some things i don't say because it will be easier for Scott and some things i don't say because it would be easier for me, i think soon i am going to stop hiding and just do and say as i please, when i please, where i please, how i please, and if someone says something well i will deal with it then. i know this sounds selfish and harsh but i know for a fact that no one should have to hide who they really are for any reason and i think people should simply be who they are.

It seems like any time something in my life changes there is something new i have to hide. And yes i know this is going to raise a lot of questions with friends and family, but i guess i needed to write something i feel like i need to talk.

Now of course there is the counselling, i am still not sure what DBT counselling is but i have to go back to my Psychiatrist in a month or so to see if there is really something wrong with me or am i messing with my own mind being worried about problems i worked out years ago.

My mom made her way back into my life and that isn't helping me at all ... i want to go to my grandmothers and yet at the same time i am scared to. my family is so rough around the edges, i love them all but that doesn't change that some part of me wishes they just weren't there sometimes. it's almost as if i moved on and my life got better yet everyone else stayed the same .. no one has changed at all.

My god life Sux

~Kalira~

So much to do- So little time

I am not really worried to much about the future anymore, i mean what is there really to be worried about?

"the future will come when it comes,
Death will take you when it takes you.
Worry not about the future
Worry only for today"
-Anonymous

I think living by this has done me some good, i am getting better at keeping my home and keeping up with need to do Stuff, as well as making dinner each night and Getting Vanyel to bed on time. Being a homemaker isn't as easy as people make it look, Especially with Children, i mean on top of trying to find 5 minutes to spend with the husband figure in your life there are Dishes, Laundry, Diapers, Baths, Reading, washing floors, cleaning little messes, walls, Vacuuming, grocery shopping, and 3 Square meals a day for your loved ones. Don't even get me started on Entertaining, there is 10 times the amount of things that have to get done when your entertaining a guest or family.

I am looking forward to a small break but i am finally getting into the swing of things, Especially when i have a little help in the way of a roomie who loved to sit for me since he loves my son so much, he thinks Vanyel is the greatest. Vanyel is getting to an age where he likes to help so picking up and throwing things out is Much easier then it used to be, now he helps me toss things out instead of bringing me the garbage piece by piece as i am trying to throw it out, he loves to help carry in groceries and go for walks which yes i guess it adds more to what needs to be done, but this can be added to the list of fun things int he day.

We do so much around here now i never have any time for myself, i spend as much time as i can with friends and seeing a professional really helped that, he said i need to try and get close with my friends and any relationships i have because they will help ease the stress i have to deal with and help make me happy. i am supposed to do all kinds of things i can't really find time for but i will try to find time for my friends at least. no more outings for me since money is scarce again but i am trying to make it work out, i am looking at getting to work again when my doctors letter expires (if i don't need a new one) and maybe see if i can't make some money to help out. or at least to have to go out with so i don't have to ask the husband for it.

Things are great, although money IS a little tight i am not really worried any more as long i keep renting my spare room out. i don't have an office but most people keep their computers in their living room anyway.


OK well i guess i am done talking there isn't much more for me to say this week i am doing great and life is good ... Have a good one!!

Goodness? We'll see

We'll Hubby is off at Shaw not for an interview, this is a job he is really hoping to get, Shaw is one of the highest paying companies in Edmonton. So here i am hoping against all hope that he gets this job, if any deserves it he does. he works so hard and never sees much of his hard work appreciated.


So Scott my love,

Here's to you .....
for all you are and all your trying to be,
you care for your wife and child,
Your selfless giving and true honesty
your trust and self respect,

I could never live with out you and i wish you all the luck


Kiss kiss

Chantelle

Shaun

This is my Friend Shaun, hehe so proud he is .. of what i can't remember i think he was just posing lol ...


WOOHOO Shaun!!!!!




we were just messin around at one of my birthday parties

clipped from ca.pg.photos.yahoo.com

After kids

After you have kids money gets tight but then again so does the marriage, I have come to a weird road block.
~
~
You see? me and Scott have been together in one form or another over 11 years, i heard once that a romance and a marriage can just pewter out and come to a slow end that's mutual for both people, and i never believed it until now. NOT that Scott and i are Breaking up, actually just the opposite, we have been spending more time talking about what we can do to find more things in common and more things to talk about ... are trying to maybe find away to make things Good again.
~
~
I love Scott so much and i Don't ever want things to go "south" between us right now, or ever for that matter. He says he doesn't want it to end either and i believe him, after all i put him through he is still here and he is still with me.
~
I will seek counselling for us before i give up on this. I have this friend who Keeps telling me to never give up on Scott and not to ever let him go, and i don't ever plan to. Scott has been there, beside me, through so much and i can't see my life without him, ever!
~
~
Another day, another story
~
~
~
~K~

Another year older

I am yet another year older and i seem less wise then before. we have been busy with 2 extra kids in the house (my neice and nephew) and somehow i just feel overwhelmed with everything thats happening. my sister needs some help with her problems and i need some with my problems and my mom is a walking problem and i have more kids then i can handle right now...


I have been contemplating going away for a little while and right when all this started i got an invite to go to a concert in Berlin, thats going to be so cool and i need the Vacation.


I have been struggling with alot of internal issues and i am so VERY glad that they are not emotional ones.



Have a good one all ...
and oh ya, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

The Taurus

This is me .. and yes it's true

clipped from www.astrology-online.com The Bull April 21 to May 21 Traditional Taurus Traits Patient and reliable Warmhearted and loving Persistent and determined Placid and security loving On the dark side.... Jealous and possessive Resentful and inflexible Self-indulgent and greedy

The Leo

This is the birthday for my Husband ... and it's oh so true

clipped from www.astrology-online.com The Lion July 23 to August 22 Traditional Leo Traits Generous and warmhearted Creative and enthusiastic Broad-minded and expansive Faithful and loving On the dark side.... Pompous and patronizing Bossy and interfering Dogmatic and intolerant

Code of valor variation

Found this when searching for code of valor. Thought it was funny.

clipped from forums.swordforum.com Be wary of dragons, for thou art crunchy and of good taste with ketchup.

Serenity Prayer

Now THIS i like:D

clipped from forums.swordforum.com I always liked this version: "God grant me the serentity to accept things I cannot change the courage to change the things that I can- and the weaponry to make the difference." :D

Poly-Amory as a lifestyle and it's meaning

i recently posted and clipped something about polyamory lifestyles and there is so much more to it. so here is a better Discription clipped from the Dictionary lol .. might help some of those who don't understand

clipped from en.wikipedia.org Polyamory (from poly=multiple + amor=love) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they respect a partner's wish to have second or further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships. The term polyamory is sometimes abbreviated to poly, especially as a form of self-description, and is sometimes described as consensual and/or responsible non-monogamy. Polyamory is usually taken as a description of a lifestyle or relational choice and philosophy, rather than of individuals' actual relationship status at a given moment. There is a certain fluidity in its definition, to accommodate the different shades of meaning which might be covered. Polyamorous relationships are themselves varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals concerned.

Rent caps are being protested

Now this is what it comes to .. this city spent time Signing a petition and yet the government can see this, why is they have to Bring everyone down with them .. so our country is going to hell, does everyone else have to go?

clipped from www.cbc.ca About 100 people gathered on the steps of the legislature Thursday to protest the province's rising rents. Rhonda Spence, who said she has spent time living on the streets because of high rents, wants the government do more. Last month, the provincial government set aside $447 million over the next three years for affordable housing. Spence said landlords will get around that by demanding huge increases all at once, instead of smaller increases over a longer period of time.

Rent cap Denied by Federal Government

Rents to go up yet again and the government complains about the housing shortage as well as the amount of homeless yet i tak ein 2 borders a month with only room for one and Still our rent isn't getting covered .. what does that tell ya, we have good jobs everyone here does and things are still to tight, when 4 people can't make rent in a 2bdrm+den then there is a serious Problem, Here is a news Clipping

clipped from www.cbc.ca The Alberta government is changing some of the rules governing rent hikes, but won't go as far as implementing rent control, Housing Minister Ray Danyluk announced Tuesday. Among the funding announced Tuesday: A new Municipal Sustainability Housing Program funded by $100 million a year for three years. $45 million for 300 affordable housing units in Fort McMurray. A new $7 million fund to assist people at risk of losing accommodations due to rent increase and newcomers "who may need temporary assistance until their first paycheque arrives." An extra $16 million for initiatives that help the homeless. Martin says he would have particularly liked to see more money invested in transitional housing, to try to get people out of shelters and into their own homes.

Three Poems from the love of my life

You came into my life like a gift from above
you are as graceful as a swan and gorgeous as a dove
you are a diamond in the rough one of a kind
your as priceless as a pearl a very rare find
when i talk to you it seems like times just cease
and when i see your smile it puts my soul at peace
you are my gorgeous goddess who blessed my life
i look forward to the future and being called your husband
you're my angel in disguise who has changed my world
this poem is just for you
if you wonder why i made this, its because of all that you do
you help me out in life when im down
you keep me going on, and get me off the ground
you always make me laugh, and make me smile
no matter how far you are, your worth walking that extra mile
you seem to know how to make me feel better and do that silly lil giggle
when we are together, we mess around and give eachother a lil tickle
looking into your sexy doe brown eyes makes every moment of my life worth while
i dont know how you did it, but you gave me a love that was worth giving
there is no one like you
there never will be
no matter how hard everyone tries
you will always be here with me
being in your arms i can never get enough
i asked for someone to care for me and i got your love
i wished, i prayed, but it never worked out
just one day of seeing your face, it was then when i knew what love was all about
your sensitivity and sentimental way
the love you give makes all of my days
in the mornings i cant wait for you to give me a call
hearing your voice before i start my day is the best of all
i love your sweet tender lips, and soft gentle skin
every time im in your arms i feel the love you have for me within
i could go on, but i soon have to end
just promise me one thing
no matter what happend, we will ALWAYS be the best of friends
i hope you cherish every moment and keep them in your heart
remember me as i am now, dont ever let us drift apart






SAY ANYTHING BUT GOOD BYE

Forgive me, forgive me
And I’ll kiss your tears away.
You're the first thing and the last,
I think of every day

Let bygones be bygones,
And be willing to forgive.
And I will love you only
Every moment I live.

I love you and I need you,
It's a fact and not a lie,
So if you plan to punish me,
Say anything, but good bye.





IF I TOLD YOU “I LOVE YOU”

If I told you “I love you”
No less than once a day
For all the wonderful years
We have shared at work and play.

If I thanked you each and every moment
As your smile touched my heart and soul
Always showing that you need me
I still could not complete my goal.

If I gave you affection in a thousand ways
I would fail to fully convey
How much you are my world of joy,
My friend, and my lover, who doesn’t stray.

Our memories of the years past
Give us happiness night and day
Our dreams of tomorrow’s burdens
Are why we choose to pray.


thank you Husband of mine. i love you so much

Yet another morning

I hate mornings, Especially after getting to bed late and then laying awake for hours tyring to sleep .. then getting woken up early ... i hate mornings, but on the bright side i get to be here for a lot of Vanyel's mornings and then the hubby is home by the time baby gets to be a shit. and he is home for Dinner, he is working back at the hotel again, well i guess i said that in my last update but what i didn't say is he usually works nights but they have had him in Banquets and G.S.A (Guest Services Attendant(room Service more or less)) and that means that he is gone by about 6 am and although he gets home early it's still hard to get up so early, napping is hard because i am not sure Baby understands why he needs to nap so it's hard to get him to even go to sleep in the afternoon .. and if he is up early enough he will nap at about 4 no matter what but by then the day is shot and daddy is home i have to start Supper. so here i am not as early of a morning had to be up at 9, but still an early morning non the less. not to mention very little sleep last night in total .. and a headache to wake up with. got how many more people have to deal with this? do sleeping pills work? i have some from my Doctor but i fear taking them, i have taken em once and i needed to sleep bad after days of no sleep but are they OK on nights like last night?

Maybe i am just a complainer and a worrier ... but this is me and i need somewhere to Gripe he he


See ya

Gothic Love

This is a beautiful picture. i loved it and had to clip it

clipped from elfwood.lysator.liu.se

Well newest update

Hubby is now working back at the restaurant, and we have yet another new roomer it turned out that the really nice 25 yo female was indeed trying to scam us from someplace in Nigeria and get us to send them major amounts of money from some fraudulent money orders she sent us. well is that Freaking' peachy.
Either way we have paid Epcor but it looks like our Gas is being Shut off. hopefully we can come up with the cash to get that paid .. and we got our rent paid and managed to keep our place but we had to go to court to do it... ICKY.
i have been posting some fun stuff here just for the heck of it cause it's fun to do i guess.. i have been working with my PDA more and seeing if maybe i can get my life organized.
i got a letter from the doctor keeping me from work until the end of April. i see my psychiatrist on April 16Th and i will probably get a letter from him too, if I'm not committed first. If i get on A.I.S.H then hubby will probably just stay at the restaurant and we will use my checks to pay the rent.
my Cousin came to visit a few days ago and it was awesome. i wish it was under better circumstances though, his father died and he has been having a hard time with it. I will be working out a good way to maybe earn some money from home on the side if i can.

I want to thank anyone who has helped me out, i am glad to be able to see my Son again, money was so tight i couldn't even get bus fare to see him. my sister was more then kind enough to help me with that this time and gave me $40.00 since she owes me a load of money anyways. and i can finally take his Christmas present to him. I want to try and find something Good for his birthday which is about 2 weeks after mine and i am hoping i can celebrate it with him again this year. we went swimming least year i think it was and he had a great time with his little Brother. he loves his little brother and i am glad for that. Very glad for that, one day soon he can come spend weekends with his little brother, i have a huge park right near here and i know they will love the Field and flying Remote control planes in the Field (hubby got one for Christmas).

I just realized that not many people get the chance to read this which might explain why we never got a response when asking for help so i am going to put a link to it on my MSN space and see if my friends can read it after that. It will be my last post on my MSN space so that the link is always there .. and i will put it in my blog roll as well .. so that it's easy to find for Yahoo! friends too.


Anyway thanks again to everyone who helped us out and to those who didn't well i will just imagine you never knew this was here.

Have a good one all

***Lighter note***
Youngest son is going much better after being sick for a period of time and so is Hubby... i have made a great friend who has been helping me out Enormously for the past little while, and Eve is finally visiting again

Speeding Ticket

clipped from www.2flashgames.com A man in his 40s bought a new BMW and was out driving on the interstate at top speed when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and sped up even more. Then the reality of the situation hit him, "What the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, it is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Very Weird Looking Cats

Some Weird looking Animals

clipped from my.opera.com Sphynx the worlds most ugliest and weirdest Cat

BEST QUOTE OF 2006

Very Funny, And so True

clipped from rense.com Best Quote Of 2006? By Chris Rock "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

Being Poor

Something i found that makes a whole lot of Sense so Cutos to morgainelefaye From ClipMarks she really has something here

clipped from www.scalzi.com Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs. Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away. Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours. Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house. Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt. Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal. Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you. Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support. Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids. Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner. Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise. Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor. Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere. Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar. Being poor is knowing you're being judged.

Flying Sucks

Ok your all going to love this one ... this is from my Adopted mom in the states and i think she did a great job of writing this .. it's a true Story and i love it

No I don’t like to fly!

Never mind the threat of terrorists flying planes into high rise buildings. Never mind the threat of mechanical failure. Never mind the thought of being projected through the atmosphere at unrealistic speeds. Just the hassle is enough to ground this old one.

We had enjoyed wonderful month in Montreal and were prepared for the trip home. With 200 pounds of luggage in tow, we caught the shuttle from the Hilton to PE Trudeau Airport barely noticing the minus 20 degree weather.

We had two hours before the plane left when we arrived at the kiosk to do the self check-in drill. Our first encounter with this system had been in Vancouver. Unfortunately it didn’t work any better for us now that we were in Montreal. We were instructed to go to the triangle.

The Triangle as it turns out is three billetries with yellow triangles printed on signs above the agents’ head. We weren’t alone in this queue. There had to be at least 100 people being shuffled through the fenced maze to the counter, all dragging carts of baggage. By the time we had moved 10 feet, we were down to one hour before take off.

Out of the din of confused and concerned passengers came this voice,”Any passengers for Toronto at 8 o’clock?”

Half a dozen people raised their hands and were then shuffled under the guiding fence to another queue. Hope sprang up in our hearts. Maybe we would be called out soon. But, that begged the question, what is the purpose of the triangle?

Our time was no completely wasted. We learned about the loosened requirements for needles from a gal sewing fur onto a leather mitten. We learned that there are a lot of people heading home to Asia for the holidays. We learned that no one expected to be in this line.

And then we heard, “Any passengers going to Vancouver on the 8:15?” Woohoo! That’s us! I stepped forward and the lady, put up her hand and walked away. Well there. That was a let down. Suddenly she reappeared and made the same announcement. I stepped forward again and this time it took. We were whisked out of line and placed in front of a real live agent who could get us boarding passes and check our baggage. This was progress. It was now 45 minutes until take off.

She asked for our flight information and then our carry-on luggage. I set my new red suitcase on the scale only to find it was 2 kilos overweight. Oh my gosh! What’s a Kilo? Well I know it’s a measurement of weight but truly have no concept of how heavy that is.

She suggests I open it and redistribute the weight. All I have in there of value is my laptop and my reading material, so I pull out the lap top. Voila! It passes, but now I have the little red suitcase with wheels, a lap top with no wheels and my purse. That’s three and as you know THAT is not allowed. SO, with the wisdom of years of baggage shuffling under her belt, she has me put my purse in the suitcase and carry the lap top. We are now back to two pieces of carry on luggage, but I can’t for the life of me see how we reduced the weight load in the plane.

Now it’s Bob’s turn. If anyone thinks my lap top and case holds a candle to Bob’s you are sadly mistaken. She had him start unloading until his laptop hit the magic number of 10 Kilos. But we had all these extra parts now, so she had us shove them into my little red suitcase that was now quite underweight. Finally with our weight redistributed but not reduced we were ready to start on the baggage that was to be checked.

As you might imagine, at least two of the 4 were overweight. She suggested that we open them all and redistribute until they were equal. Bob steps forward and asks the charge for overweight luggage? She said, “Oh sir, these two would cost you $80.00. Without a breath passing between her response and Bob’s he instructed her to just do it. We now had 15 minutes until take off.

With the motherly scolding tone, she instructed us to take our luggage around the corner to express baggage because we were already late. Now why was that?

We dropped off the big suitcases and proceeded to follow the signs to 5A. Oh yes, we still haven’t gone through security. A charming French lady instructed us to pass through line number 4. OK so here we go.

I take off my coat and put it in a bin. Open up the lap top and take in out of the case. Set my purse in yet another bin and fling the little red suitcase up on the conveyor belt behind it all. The fellow looks up and asks me to take off my jacket. I assure him my coat is that purple blob in the bin in front of him. He points to my sweat shirt and says it’s bulky. I said no that’s fat and this sweatshirt is all I have on. I was just not willing to remove it. He laughed and let me go.

In Vancouver my jewelry had set off the bells and whistles of the metal detector, but here, with the same pieces, I slid right through. But wait! Oh NO! There is a pair of scissors with VERY long blades in Bob’s carry on. OH No OH No! I didn’t remember where in that bag I had packed the scissors with 3 inch blades. VERY Long is definitely a subjective thing. After rummaging through bottles and bags we finally found the potential high jacking material. They were removed and taken to the bin of confiscated weapons. These poor scissors were due to be replaced anyway so my heart wasn’t broken, but it is curious that they hadn’t been confiscated in Vancouver.

So now I was through and they were looking at the electrical mass in Bob’s laptop. With routers and switches and extra things, it looked like he was ready for some fancy wiring on any kind of bomb. All he needed was the plastic explosive. Oh maybe that’s what I had under my shirt.

While they were obsessing with all that, I tried to put my luggage back into the configuration that worked. Lap top back in the little red suitcase with wheels, books where we could get to them and munchies protected from destruction. Bob made it through without being arrested and off we went on the 4 block tracks to 5A. We walked up, fell into line, and boarded without any hassles. Oh well save one, we weren’t seated together. Mine was first, so Bob helped me get my bag into the overhead bin and I sat down.

I am always amazed at cultural differences, but mostly I like to observe from a distance. On a plane, space and distance shrink by monstrous proportions. The lady next to me would vocalize every yawn. I couldn’t help but think she was gasping and each time my heart gave a start. She was very determined to get every cough and sneeze as far from her as possible so she would open her mouth wide and let loose of noise, phlegm, and God knows what without so much as a hand over the mouth. The Princessa in the seat in front of me needed a nap, so put her seat back until she was lying almost flat. In order to read I had to plant the bottom of my book on my chest and tilt it upwards about 45 degrees. My chins still are tired of being squished together for so many hours. The gal in the seat behind was short enough to be able to put her feet up on the back of my seat and keep time to the music on her private listening device. And then the flight attendant came by and asked if I would like a beverage. Yes water please and would you dump in on the gal in front and would I be greedy to ask for another for the gal behind.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain. Now that my feet are safely on the ground and all our bags arrived on the same flight, I am thankful. However, I still don’t like to fly and am writing this so I don’t forget why.

I must say that flying from Vancouver to Montreal avoids airport customs. This is an amazing thing. We showed the agent our passports at the border driving up, told them what we were doing and off we went. On the way back we showed them the passports, explained we had been there on business and confessed to buying Christmas presents but no food. And off we went. No hassles! Some things are truly a blessing!

In her words and font and type exactly .. teehee i love it

Could things get any worse?

Well it seems that life holds yet another turn for us, The wonderful Job hubby found was put on hold until he gets a pardon because his Criminal Record Check failed. so he tried to see if he could go back to the restaurant and NOPE .. doesn't look like they need him back yet, so were back to square one but worse off since this time we don't even have enough to pay rent. we need at least another 500 to cover rent in full and Boardwalk won't take half rent or even let us slide a bit .. if we don't pay we get evicted and we have no money to go to another place or anything,

we need food but i have been going to the food bank as often as i can and it looks like out power, water and Gas will get cut off here soon too cause we haven't been able to pay them at all. I really don't know how much more of this i can stand, i am having issues sleeping already and now i can't even bring myself to try to sleep


no idea what i am going to do anymore ..

I wish someone would find this and help us somehow

Maybe ... Just, Maybe

I think at some point thing will get better now, The husband has new job but he doesn't start until Feb 22ND this months rent was paid and next months rent is pretty Doubtful. We still haven't been able to pay Any bills because any extra money we get goes to Groceries so that our son doesn't go hungry, we have petitioned Friends and they have helped all they can and i have repeated petitioned on this site for help as well .. to no Avail might i add... so now i guess i just have to prey, i am sure the gods and goddesses are looking down on us now and i know they will help us as they see fit to do so.


I only hope that Boardwalk doesn't see it fit to Evict us, so far they have been Very understanding and i am hoping they will Continue to be for Just one more month while we get our Lives back in order. this has been very hard on all of us but most of all on My husband who has been so stressed out he has been near tears at the thought of not being able to care for his family for any reason, he is in a much better place now and feeling much more confident with this new Job at IBM. and i am hoping he stays this way ..the pay is a bit more and the hours a bit better plus he will be closer to home. it will make it much easier to be home at a decent hour and be able to spend time with his family ...

*** BRIGHTER NOTES***

It also appears that we have that roommate we were looking for, she seems nice enough. a gal from London England i think and she is 25 in veterinary school. she seems to like the situation for housing we offered her and it looks as though we will be able to manage somehow with her help

***UPDATES***
I will be keeping my Donation button and this way if anyone sees fit to help they can as i said in a previous blog i will see to repaying every penny as soon as it becomes available to do so

A new Day, seeking roommates

I am looking for a Roommate now since it seems help is slim, it's hard to come up with someone you can trust especially if they are a stranger and unknown to you.

I am hoping to get some sort of decent response soon, a lot of people seem interested but it seems that no one is willing to take the final step and come look at the place.

other then that things seem to be ok .. we have managed to work out our rent this month and although it will be late next month were sure we can cover it then too ... now it's just a matter of looking at covering bills and getting groceries . were still working out with the food bank .. but they don't help with Bills lmao

Hope everyone is well ..

After Dinner

Well after having Dinner i was wondering a lot on what kinds of things i can do so now i am looking for some work from home stuff and maybe i will start making Dreamcatchers again.


I wanted to go to the Canadian Idol Auditions but due to the cash flow problem i will miss them, i am hoping to be able to make one on a later date in one of the other Canadian cities.


Vanyel is going through a growth spurt so he is eating a LOT more then usual .. so thats entertaining too .. not to mention the amount he sleeps lol .. he tried to break his nose a few days ago and succeeded .. and then cut his nose open the other night .. what a child .. he is so nuts, trying to be superman all the time

Things will improve

I got the news this morning that the husband has gotten a job interview for monday at 2, working at IBM doing the same thing he was doing at Dell only more money, $2.00 mor and hour which adds up to just about 300 more a month, it will take us some time before we can get worked out but i think soon we will be able to work something out and get back in place.

Things will continue to be tight for a while so i will continue to petition for help .. bottle n cans we can take in, care packages, odd jobs, anything helps ..

Ever lost a job? ever been down?

Well here it is yet again another plea for help but this time a more Dire one, i got to the funeral okay and all was good i saw my family i was able to grieve and i miss my cousin DEARLY, he was my best friend and brother more then anything,

Things have been bad, we were working out our finances and in another month would have been okay again once we caught up with the horrendous rent here but the Husband Lost his job the 6th and we will only be bale to pay rent for February before were out of money, we won't be able to get groceries or pay any bills. we have been to the food bank i have been out collecting bottles and i am not above working, my son has behavioral problems and can't be put in daycare and the only sitter i have is dealing with a rough pregnancy and i would not be able to handle a 2 year old like i have. the Husband started looking for work right away and has written a new resume but were not going to make it if doesn't find work int he next 24 hours.

So please if u have bottles n cans or can help us out in ANY way: care packages, Diapers, milk coupons; anything even odd jobs i can do (bad back so not a lot i can do).. babysitting anything please ... My pay pal e-mail is john.chantelle@shaw.ca and u can contact me here or at my other e-mail john.chantelle@telus.net

I am not the kind of person to beg and i have been in this situation before, it's not me or my husband i worry for it's my son


Thank you for any help you can give and if ANY money is donated i will do my best to try and return as much of it as i can when were finally back on our feet

thank you so much ..


Chantelle, Scott & Vanyel